Ever feel like you don’t really know who you are or what you’re supposed to ‘be’ in the world?
Maybe you feel like you have to ‘fake it til you make it’ or you’re an imposter in your own life…
I totally get it.
Finding our way through all of the “shoulds” of life is tough stuff! ...I should look like this, act like that, do things a certain way… I should be a morning person, should have more money, should be successful, should be married, be better at this, be better at that… it’s exhausting!
If we try to be all we think we “should” be, how will we ever learn who we really are?
“Shoulds” are the killer of an authentic and happy life.
The choices you make impact the quality of love energy and direction of your life. Every day, we are faced with millions of choices. Some are quite small, like choosing what to eat for breakfast. While others are very complex and complicated, like choosing a career path, a new job or even a life goal. If you’re not living an authentic and happy life full of love energy, you might be letting “shoulds” run the show.
Finding yourself isn’t about going with the easiest option, or reacting emotionally, making a pros and cons list, or pulling others’ opinions.
The most powerful and direct way to find yourself and be happy is not following your rational thoughts, fluctuating emotions or fleeting desires, but in honoring what is in your highest good.
But, er, what does that mean?
Your highest good is your north star. It’s a shining light connecting you with your soul and guiding you towards wisdom, inner peace and your divine purpose.
When you follow your highest good you can’t help but to discover your true self. You let go of all the “shoulds” and start living in authentic alignment with YOU. Rock. on.
First, let’s briefly review some traits of your highest good. Then, I’ll show you how to access your highest good!
It is unique to you.
What’s in your highest good may not be in your best friend’s highest good. We’ve each enrolled in Earth School with our own unique and specialized curriculum, including healing past traumatic experiences, learning soul lessons and fulfilling soul contracts.
And even if you and your best-friend happen to have the same curriculum, you’re at different stages of your earthly journeys. She might be in ‘patience 101’ but you’re currently doing a pop quiz in patience!
Which means it’s impossible to accurately compare ourselves to anyone else …or assume that a decision which is good for someone else, is also in your highest good. (Most of the time, it’s not!)
It is about evolution, not ego.
The intention of your highest good isn’t about making your life easy, fun, cool, exciting or yummy …rather, it’s about finding your true self and evolving.
Our ego is our self-perceived identity comprised of our thoughts, emotions, and desires. Your ego wants to be comfortable and it wants it now! It wants what is new, shiny, yummy, feels good and is rewarding. There will be times when highest good aligns with your ego’s desires …and that definitely makes things easier!
But there are also times when your highest good is NOT the easiest or most comfortable choice.
As souls in Earth School, we may be sent on a mission that the ego feels is too risky. Often, it requires us to get uncomfortable, be disciplined or stand in our truth. We may need to have challenging conversations or change our behaviors. This is all part of honoring our true self and aligning with our divine purpose.
It requires discernment.
At Illuminated Space, we don’t do hard and fast rules. We know there is no blanket solution for everyone.
We also know that what is right for someone one day, may not be in their highest good another day. We are dynamic beings and we need different things at different times.
For example, you may be committed to working out each day (good on you!), but if you have the flu, working out is probably not in your highest good until you regain strength and health.
If you’re committed to eating only vegetables, but occasionally your body is signaling it needs another nutrient, we encourage you to move towards your highest good and give your body what it needs.
Your highest good is fluid and flexible, not hard and fast.
It will inspire you to be a win-win extraordinaire.
Your highest good will not always line up with what is popular or expected of you by others and society. Additionally, you have the pressures of Earth School to balance: deadlines need to be met, spouses and kids cared for, traffic maneuvered, bills paid, dogs walked, etc.
So what to do when human life is pulling you one direction and your highest good in another? Determine what is in your highest good, then get creative. Aim for a win-win.
You may need to communicate with others to establish better boundaries, renegotiate previous agreements with others, do a self-loving activity at the same time, or shift your perspective.
It can take courage.
Following your highest good can take considerable courage! Sometimes you are asked to take the path less travelled. You may be guided away from your tribe’s belief systems, hometown, or a traditional career path.
The process of breaking away from the tribe may create fear of abandonment, rejection or isolation. This may trigger anxiety or activate old pain in those we love. They may pull their love energy away.
For many people, this is reason enough to squash their intuition, ditch their highest good, and live a status quo life. But if you are among the brave and choose to commit to move in the direction of your highest good, you will need to give yourself love energy to support this process.
Remember: You are not alone.
We’ve got your back and are here to cheer you on. At any point, you can reach out to one of our Transformational Life Coaches and we will support you.
How to determine what’s in your highest good
Now you know some of the traits of your highest good, how can you determine when you’re making decisions that are aligned with your highest good?
So glad you asked!
First, when accessing your highest good, how you ask the question is superduper important. Steer clear of the phrases like ‘What should I do?’ or ‘Could I’ fill-in-the-blank?
Leave out the shoulds and coulds, and instead, ask: “In this situation, what is in my highest good?”
Other people involved? No sweat. Ask: “What is the highest good for all concerned?”
After clearly stating to yourself and the Universe you’re seeking what’s in your highest good, you can determine the answer by one (or all) of the following methods.
Method 1: Listen to Your Inner Voice (or Intuition)
When you are quiet, still and venture within yourself, you can hear your inner voice. It’s not the negative, crotchety inner critic commenting on everything you do, but a more subtle, genuine voice inside of stillness. When you hear it, it rings with Truth. You may experience it as a deep inner knowing.
You might be used to referring to this guidance as your intuition. Some people may have decided or learned to ignore their inner voice long ago. And after stifling it for years, it can become incredibly hard to hear.
If this has been your experience, it’s okay. Your inner voice is indeed, still there; it just needs to be strengthened. You’ll have to practice getting still, asking the right questions, listening to and trusting it, so that it can grow stronger and come in loud and clear again!
Method 2: What’s Left?
After stating your question, then strip away your thoughts, your feelings, and your desires. What’s left is the truth or your highest good, free of all filters. Follow this direct knowing and inner wisdom.
Method 3: Be Bright
Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Tune into your body. Notice how it feels. Become aware of the subtlety of your aura field or the space just outside your body. Don’t judge anything, just be aware.
Then, consider your question. As you explore the options or directions you may take, try and sense whether something makes you feel bright and expansive or heavy and contracted.
Choose the path that lights you up!
This may seem obvious, but after you receive your answer, follow your highest good! This puts you on the path to discovering your own uniquely splendid self!
On your highest good journey, hold tightly to this: You are worthy of a love-filled life. Loving yourself and following your highest good are essential to finding yourself and living an authentic and joyful life!
About the author:
Jennifer is a grounded and down-to-earth multi-sensitive empath and intuitive soul coach. She sees the world through an energetic and spiritual lens while offering real-world tools to help clients live a balanced and harmonious life. Drawing from a variety of traditions including Theta Healing, Yuen Method, Qigong, Shamanism and Spiritual Psychology, she helps clients reclaim their joy and align with their Authentic Self. Her work is featured in various online outlets including the popular blog and bookstore, Bodhi Tree.